NFL week 2 horah!

Did I mention I love Football?

Falcons over Cardinals
Cowboys over Bears
Steelers over Titans
Bengals over Ravens
Eagles over Lions
Vikings over Dolphins
Chiefs over Browns
Panthers over Buccaneers
Packers over Bills
Seahawks over Broncos
Rams over Raiders
Texans over Redskins
Patriots over Jets
Chargers over Jaguars
Colts over Giants
Saints over 49ers

maps

the gps systems for cars could be one of the greatest inventions for the wandering driver.  I always think I'll beable to home in on my destination somehow using magic powers, so who needs directions?  While a success rating of about 40% is respectable, it still leaves much to be desired.  So now I turn to the helpful garmin as my co-pilot.
maybe I should invest in an awesome side-kick voice for my garmin...
Jarvis?
Scottie?
no.  I'm going to get a welsh language option for the garmin.  It will be great, someone to yell at as he gabbles away in some incomprehensible dying language trying to tell me to just TURN LEFT YOUR THERE!  I can even make so sometimes it's in welsh and sometimes it's in heavily accented welnglish just to mess with my head.

too much guitar hero

How much is too much? 
If, instead of random sparks of color flashing in front of your eyes when you close them, you see the scrolling circles of guitar hero behind your eyelids, you've played too much guitar hero.
If your dreams involve a strange blending of playing guitar hero and living the life of a rock superstar because of your intense level of play, you've played too much guitar hero.
If your fiance comes over to you while you're playing, and you actually think that she's admiring your fretwork, you've played too much guitar hero.
It's time for a break.

The Irony Alligator

Sick of people who misuse the word irony?  So is my friend the irony alligator.  He's made it his life goal to hunt down misuse-ees and spring upon them suddenly out from the bushes, making them flee in terror.  He won't hurt them or anything, he's a pacifist; which is NOT ironic (but close).  The irony alligator also wears tee shirts with the cookie monster cooking up chocolate chip dough like it's drugs.  These tee shirts aren't ironic either, but the fact that the irony alligator acts like this is ironic so boo-yah!

fear the irony alligator.

ps.  the irony alligator now has an arch nemesis:
the grammar griffon.

My mind on exercise

Yesterday, as I was bike riding down the town path, I went by a bench that had 'I heart tits' written in graffiti on it.  The first time I went by it, I thought:

what a coincidence, me too!  hehe.hehe

When I went by it on my way back from an hours worth of exercise, my brain had reached the point where it thought:

I know!  Doesn't everybody heart them, though?  Wellll, maybe not everybody, but I bet about 80% of any sizeable polling group would.  Ha, with an opinion poll like that, tits should run for office; they'd be the perfect running mates.  4 out of 5 voters agree, tits should be running this country...
...if they aren't already.

from the fog of crazy dreams

all I can remember was that I was trying to stop an atomic baker..

his sweet pastry breads,
hid nuclear war-heads.

I was a rhyming cia agent apparently.

a brief list of cars..

white buick from the 80's.... sold for parts
red saab from the 90's......... wrecked
beige ford from the 90's...... sold for parts
red nissan from 00's............ given to family member
black volvo from the 90's... wrecked
red ford from the 00's.......... sold as a real car!

so what's next?
how about this volvo:

I like it

Fantasy Football... in 3D!

Two things I am just too old to get into gear with, I think.  Why would you want to have to wear special goggles just to watch a movie?  Also, just watching football games takes a large chunk of time.  Trying to manage a fantasy football time must be all-consuming.  Can you possibly have time to do anything else during the football season?  I think not.

wii-nternet

The wii does have great extra features, like internet and picture viewing (I've heard rumors of video watching too, but haven't tried it out yet).  Wouldn't it be great if you could do all of those things easily on a wii instead of nintendo making it so hard to accomplish that it might as well not be possible? Of course, if I really wanted all of that, I would just get the new playstation console upgrade.  It only took them half a decade to reverse engineer that wii remote...
...although it will apparently take nintendo a full decade to figure how to let us watch dvds on the wii...

the return of guitar hero

Now that all the dark crystal shards that make up our wii guitar hero have been reunited, I can play again!  Only not as well apparently.  Three years away from the game really takes you skill level down, I guess.  Oh well, at least it's back; here's to pretending that I can play the guitar.

I need a smaller pile

If you had to take everything you owned and put it in a single pile, how big would that pile be?  bigger than you think.  I can't imagine how many truck loads it would take to move my pile into a new place, but I bet I'll find out sometime later this year...

it's her world, I just live in it

The cat thinks that the desk is her personal bed domain.  It isn't making typing any easier, and yet she seems to be ok with that.

I need me a robot!

Part of my dream last night involved being in a robot war with a neighbor down the street.  I would build a robot to stalk him, and he would build one to hunt me.  I was just beginning to introduce a defense robot to guard my homestead.  It had a freeze ray.  stops time, tell your friends, etc etc.

odd dream

My dream last night was almost all chase scene.  I had stolen back my sneakers from the ocean state job lot where they had been mistakenly donated.  Thus ensued a federal marshall run pursuit, which ended up in a large yacht where I earned my freedom by helping collar a drug lord.  Go me!

everything must go

today I get to try my hand at the fine art of garage sale-ing.  Let's see how many people want all of the junk that I've collected over the years.  I'm sure it will all get snapped up quick as a flash; after all, I was stupid enough to buy it once before, surely someone else will be just as bad today...

tap wood for luck!

scarecrow for tourists

so on the road near my parents house there is an oddly placed scarecrow.  It has a pumpkin head and sticks for arms that are a little too straight and long.  During the daytime it looks like it could just be a family name sign holder, or maybe a mailbox holder.  At night the silhoutte it makes in the glare of the headlights make it look like an irate farmer standing at the fool of his driveway with a shotgun.  It's actually quite shocking when you don't expect it.  I imagine it's there to scare off his daughter's perspective suitors.  It's the north woods equivalent of a moat.

unfortunate if true

So last night we joked that the only way the sox could come back to win the game was if we went to bed and stopped watching.  Last night it worked out great for us, because well, we were exhausted.  It seems like almost immediately after we shut off the television, the red sox did indeed manage to come back in a big way.
My point is this:  how much would it suck to have a true superstition that your favorite sports team only wins games when you don't watch them?  Of course we're leaving out the whole irrationality of it, but if it was somehow magically true, I think it would be a curse the likes of which deserve it's own Twilight Zone episode.  Just imagine, if you will, not being able to do something you really enjoy for the fear of ruining it for everyone (including yourself) that could enjoy that activity.  At that point you might be considered a fanatic, but no longer are you really a fan.
I'd much rather be left blind in the library at the end of the world.

An ode to hops

Of all the things I missed, and there are quite a few, american beer is one of the biggies.  I don't know why the english refuse to flavour flavor their brews with hops, because it makes the beer taste oh-so-much better.  On the flip side, their beer is pretty conducive to quaffing by the pint... so it's a wash in the end.